Female self-pleasure: what is masturbation?

A close-up of the lower body with fireworks in the background to suggest pleasure.

Giving yourself a hand, wanking, flying solo — there are many code names for masturbation and a lot of taboos and negative associations around it. But self-pleasure is actually a great way to get to know your body. And it has plenty of health benefits too!

There's a lot of stigma around masturbation (especially female masturbation), so talking about it can seem awkward at first. But it really shouldn't be! Female self-pleasure is a completely natural way of exploring what we like and what we don't like to experience in our bodies. Plus, having this information can help us feel confident and even prepare us for better experiences if and when we have sex with other people.

Whether this is all completely new or you have dabbled with it before, we’ll guide you through everything you need to know about masturbation.

What is masturbation?

Masturbation is a safe and healthy way of familiarising yourself with your body and what feels good for you.

Although the textbook definition of masturbation is 'touching your genitals for sexual pleasure,'^[1] it’s actually a bit more complex than that. People touch themselves in lots of different ways, making masturbation a very personal experience. This means it's up to you to discover what gives you pleasure — whether that's caressing your ears, rubbing your nipples, or touching your V-Zone (that's everything to do with our vagina, vulva and the V-shaped front of your body that you can see).

Do women masturbate?

Shrouded in secrecy as it can often be, people of all genders masturbate, including women. When scientists studied this topic, they even found that in some countries over 85% of women aged 18-22 have masturbated at some point in their lives.^[2]

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of — many of us do it, after all! In many cultures, however, it is common for boys and men to openly talk about 'wanking,' but everyone else often feels like they can't do the same because they will be judged for it. This is an unfair double standard since at the end of the day, we’re all human, and wanting to feel pleasure in our bodies is a completely natural human desire. So, it’s okay to talk about masturbation and to touch your own body in ways that feel good, no matter your gender.

Can self-pleasure be good for you?

In a nutshell, yes! There are many benefits to engaging in a bit of self-love. Masturbation is great for lowering stress levels, helping you relax and even fall asleep. If you orgasm (reach a peak of intense pleasure), you’ll also enjoy a release of happy hormones in your body called endorphins. They can put you in a good mood and, if it’s that time in your menstrual cycle, help relieve period pain.

So, if you want to try masturbating, give it a shot — there's nothing weird about wanting to get to know your own body and finding out what feels good. But if you don't want to masturbate or have tried it before and decided it wasn't for you, that's also completely fine. Just do whatever feels right for you and your body — it's always up to you to decide.

Is masturbation bad? Myth vs. Fact

You might have heard some negative and off-putting things about masturbation — like how it can make your palms hairy (total myth, by the way!). There are a lot of such beliefs out there, and sometimes it can be hard to

know what’s real. As a general rule of thumb, if it sounds too weird to be true, chances are there is no real science behind it.

Let's debunk some of the most common masturbation myths together.

1. Masturbation makes you infertile. Some people believe that masturbation can affect someone’s chances of getting pregnant by messing with ovulation and implantation (or cause lower sperm count in males), but this is not true at all. Masturbation does not cause infertility in anyone.^[3]

2. If you masturbate, you're in an unhappy relationship. Complete myth! Masturbation is a great way to explore your body and understand what you like and don't like. And if you have a partner, being comfortable with your own body can make it easier to open up to them about all things sex. This can help you enjoy it more and potentially be happier in your relationship.

If you're comfortable with it, you can even show your partner how you masturbate so they can get to know your body. You might even want to try giving mutual masturbation (touching each other or individually while being together) a go.

Masturbating when you’re in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean you don’t like sex with your partner anymore. It just means you like how you give yourself pleasure as well. While sex can be great for many reasons, building a relationship with yourself and putting your wants and needs in your own hands (literally) is a good thing too.

3. You can get sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from masturbating. Masturbating is pretty much the safest form of sexual activity out there because you can't get pregnant or get an STI from it.

Just keep in mind that if you are masturbating with a partner, anytime semen, vaginal fluids, saliva, or even blood come in contact with your V-Zone or anal area, there is a risk of STIs.^[4] In this case, it’s a good idea to practice safe sex by using condoms and washing your hands before touching yourself and others (also when using sex toys).

4. Masturbation causes blindness. Not true at all — there is absolutely no connection between your eyesight and giving yourself pleasure.

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How to masturbate for the first time

Many of us have felt a bit nervous, overwhelmed, or like we don't even know where to start the first time we masturbate. It’s a new experience, so that’s completely normal! Try to be kind and patient with yourself, it’s okay to take the process at your own pace.

You could start simply by removing all your clothes and looking at yourself in the mirror — think of it as a visual tour of all the bits that make up your body. You then might want to try gently touching sensitive spots, like your neck, nipples or the inside of your thigh, before exploring your V-Zone (remember to wash your hands first!). You can also try using a magnifying mirror to have a more detailed look at your vulva and all of its different parts.

Remember that there is no “best way” to masturbate. Self-pleasure is what you make of it, so give yourself the chance to notice the sensations in your body and go only as far as you’re comfortable with.

Female masturbation tips and tricks

What feels good is different for everyone. This means self-pleasure is a journey and you might have to try out a few things before you find what works best for your body. We’ve got you covered with some tips to inspire that curiosity.

Set the scene

Masturbation is, overall, a sensory experience, that means it can involve all your senses: touch, sight, hearing, smell, and even taste. Different people get in the mood by doing different things.

Many of us like reading, writing or listening to sexy stories, and others, wearing lingerie or thinking about people they feel attracted to.

In some cases, masturbating in different locations such as the bedroom or bathroom can make it a fun experience, what’s most important is that it is a private and comfortable place for you. You can even dim the lights, light some candles, or listen to relaxing music. The options are endless, so feel free to let your imagination run free!

Try different shapes and patterns

Ok, so you've gotten into the right headspace, and there's a bunch of built-up energy in the air — now what? Well, you might want to try out a few different things if you’re going for V-Zone stimulation. Keep in mind that everybody is different and the majority of people have diverse preferences for the location, pressure, shape, and pattern of sexual touch.^[5] So, you could start with focusing on your vulva by:Applying different levels of pressure to the clitoris (this is the bit at the upper front of your vulva mostly hidden under a fold of skin). Some of us might like intense pressure, while others prefer a gentle touch.
Exploring parts of your vulva with different shapes and patterns. You could start with an up-and-down motion and switch to a circular motion to test what feels good.
Experimenting with different textures, for example, using lubricant (this can also help with any dryness).
Trying different positions, like elevating your pubic bone (you can do this by putting a pillow under your hips) or lying on your stomach.

Can you masturbate while on your period?

Our sexual drive tends to increase when we are menstruating^[6] due to the hormonal changes happening in our bodies, so it's not unusual to feel particularly frisky when you're on your period. Some women+ take this as a good excuse for self-pleasure, while others give period sex a go. And there’s no evidence saying you shouldn’t if you want to.

Masturbation can also be a great way to relieve pain from menstrual cramps due to the feel-good chemicals (endorphins) your body releases when you orgasm.

If you feel pleasure from touching your V-Zone and are worried about menstrual flow making things a bit messy, try putting a dark-coloured bath towel on the surface where you’ll lay (like the bed, floor, or sofa). This can help you avoid stains, and bath towels are super easy to throw in the wash too! Another option is to masturbate in the shower. That way the water will wash away any period blood. Some people also enjoy the feeling of water trickling onto their vulva from the shower head, so why not give it a go? Finally, using an intimate wash afterwards can help take care of your intimate skin and remove any leftover blood that could potentially stain your underwear.

Whichever way you choose to masturbate while on your period, remember to remove any products inserted in your vagina (like a tampon or menstrual cup ) before going for internal stimulation.

Masturbating is a healthy and empowering way to connect with your body and figure out what you like. It's also a great way to relax and even get rid of pesky period cramps (a true win-win!). Self-pleasure is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of or feel awkward about. So, if you’re curious, take the time to explore and get to know yourself better. You deserve to feel good, and embracing your desires is a beautiful and natural part of being human.

If you want to find out more about sexual experiences, why not head over to our sex and sexual health FAQs or learn more about the female orgasm?

Medical disclaimer

The medical information in this article is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. Please consult your doctor for guidance about a specific medical condition.